Comfort Eating

28/02/2017 § Leave a comment

Trip tripping through minutes
It feels gravy to get wavy
Then be pure

I like to sweat
I like to feel muddy, dirty, achey, breathless, stretched
I like to fuck
I like to get high
I like to be loved
I like to be hated, when it feels right
I like long runs and longer drives

I like morning bike rides
hungover and empty
I like hot tea
I like hot baths
I like more than just to fill my hollow insides

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Summer is coming

27/02/2017 § Leave a comment

He’s a Greek god from head to toe and most of the time I want nothing to do with it.

‘Have you been promiscuous lately?’ He asks.

‘Yes and no’ I said. ‘I’ve been having amazing fucked up sex. Connections, fantasies fulfilled, kinks, perversions. But not with many people. Have you been promiscuous lately?’

‘Not really. I’ve been studying and working.’

‘Do you miss it?’

‘Well I saw five girls last Sunday, two girls this week (in his language, saw means fucked). I forget how promiscuous I am because I’m studying and working so much. You like your kink, I like the chase and rough fucking. I feel lonely sometimes, but free and alive.’

‘Both our ways have their benefits and drawbacks. I never feel lonely, but I suppose I rarely feel free. Nice work with the five girls in one day. I feel inexplicably proud of your cock.’ (Why did I say this, did I really feel proud of his accomplishments? Was I trying to show I didn’t judge his promiscuity?)

‘Thanks. I live in my NQ flat now. Let me know if you want to fuck, stay over and fuck, or just need a place to to to stay over as a friend with no sex. You’re a cool kid.’

‘I may well take you up on the first one before I go to America.’

‘When do you go? Please say next week so we can fuck soon.’

‘June, it may be a long wait.’

‘Why would you want to wait? We may not be here next week. I half jest.’

Last time I saw him he wanted me to bite him until he bled, I relied on google about that then. I message my friend now who is a doctor. I ask her about the risk of disease or infection from oral sex with this man. This men who sleeps with five
new girls a week. Quite high she says, these things are easily transferable.

I wonder how many girls he fucks in his bed before he changes the sheets. I think how in an ideal world that wouldn’t matter at all. I think about what I mean when I think of the word pure.

His face is almost too beautiful to be real, but you best believe holding him would be no comfort at all.

Where Am I?

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