11/08/2015 § Leave a comment

To give yourself over to another body. That’s all you want really. But to be owned and consumed by another. To swim inside the skin of your lover. Not have to breathe, not have to think. But you can’t live on love, and salt water’s no drink.

You’re dying of thirst so we feast on each other. The sea is a still and violent mother. The blood round here pours down the water. Each wave a lamb lead to the slaughter. And like children that she just can’t teach. We break, and break, and break, and break ourselves upon the beach.



The Last Time (for now)

11/08/2015 § Leave a comment

I need you even more badly after the horror of this morning’s sex. He wants to take me to Paris. I can’t, I can’t. The thought of his tongue fluttering against my clit like a flag in the wind is more than I can bear. The thought of another man touching my body who I don’t desire is more than I can bear.

I can’t do it anymore. I need to taste your cock and feel you inside me to make me feel whole again. I’m not broken or dirty. I’m like a TV on the wrong channel. I just need a reset, a reminder. I need to recall how humans can fit together beautifully. How the energy can be right. How it can flow back and forth in equal measures and build up like a charging battery. Not have it sucked from me into darkness.

I need to not act, to not fake, to not smile against my will, to not force politeness. The thought that I’ll never again have to be touched by anyone I don’t want to makes me delirious with happiness. It’s never normally that bad. We all have off days. This was mine.

But I need to heal. I need to learn to be sexual again on my terms. I need to fuck people I find attractive. I need sex to be about fun, not money, and not emotional dependency.

Where Am I?

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